One of my favorite parts about the county fair is the food; so, as you can imagine, I was enthralled to be able to take this week’s Secret Menu to the fair.

As soon as I began to see the flashing lights of the food stands and the smell of fryer grease, I remembered just how much I love fair food. If there was a perpetual fair, I would be in danger.

No, not in danger of getting fat (I’m convinced this is impossible), but I would definitely run out of money. I only bought three items, didn’t get anywhere near full and still spent $9.00.

I’m sure my wallet is happy that I wasn’t thirsty.

I really had no idea what kind of concoction to make. So, like any good food connoisseur, I scouted the options.

I was immediately drawn to the french waffles—probably because they were the first thing I saw and I was very hungry—but I decided against them for one reason: I didn’t think that they were large enough to create a sandwich that would satisfy me.

I couldn’t imagine what I would make with them, either.

After walking the circuit around the grounds, my stomach had made it’s decision.

I felt as though a very fair-ish food is one that can only be purchased at a fair. That’s why I bought one bison dog. I’ve never seen bison/buffalo offered anywhere else. The same goes for a deep fried Twinkie.

Honestly, I’d probably be disgusted if I came across a deep fried Twinkie anywhere other than a fair.

I needed a way to get both of those things into my mouth. That’s where the funnel cake came in. One, please.

Preparation for the Buffalo Funnel was incredibly easy. Locate funnel cake. Remove stick from fried Twinkie. Place Twinkie and bison dog on top of funnel cake. Fold and enjoy.

And enjoy I did.

I loved every bit of the 1,450 calories and 94 grams of fat in this Buffalo Funnel.

With fair food, it’s easy to find things that are overly sweet. Funnel cakes and deep fried Twinkies have that problem. The saltiness of the Bison dog made this very enjoyable though. I needed to be cognizant of always making sure to include some of the dog in each bite, but it was worth it.

Eating the Buffalo Funnel wasn’t nearly as messy as I thought it would be when I sat down. It looked like a nightmare, but the funnel cake beared the weight of the dog and Twinkie quite well.

The bottom of the funnel cake didn’t have too much powdered sugar on it, either, which prevented my fingers from getting sticky. They were just dripping with grease.

The best part about this was how I felt afterward, though.

Even though it was a fair bit of food, it wasn’t heavy in my stomach, nor did my stomach dislike the deep-fried-ness.

I do feel like deep fried butter would have topped it perfectly; alas, there was none on sale at the fair.