Screw you, Farmville

By Glenn Battishill

“line-height: 120%;”>I play video games for around 20 hours a week.

It’s a hobby and a stress reliever and I often do it while I study

or do homework.

“line-height: 120%;”>But, I’m not addicted to video games; I know

when I have more important things to do so I stop playing. I’ll go

days without playing because I’m busy or have better things to do.

Furthermore, I’ve never skipped a class to play, forgot to feed my

pets because I was playing or forgot to care for my


“line-height: 120%;”>Those people are addicted to video games.

Worse yet, they aren’t even addicted to REAL video games, they’re

addicted to Farmville, Bejeweled and other equally stupid

Facebook-esque games.

“line-height: 120%;”>You all know whom I’m talking about. That

family member who constantly invites you to join their

gang/guild/alliance/clan/coven/union in games like


and will berate you for not helping them get (insert pointless

currency here) so they can buy an extra manservant so they don’t

even have to click to expand their virtual dairy empire.

“line-height: 120%;”>You might think “Glenn, you handsome yet

pretentious nerd, who are you to judge these people? How can you

judge these people? You play a crazy amount of video


“line-height: 120%;”>I can judge because I don’t berate EVERY ONE

of my Facebook friends so I can do less clicking to manage my

virtual space station.

“line-height: 120%;”>My games don’t pretend to not be video games.

They know their audience and they cater to it. The last thing I

want to do when I’m playing “Mass Effect” is phone up every one of

my Xbox friends and ask them to send me money so Commander Shepard

will have more fish in his fish tank.

“line-height: 120%;”>I get that casual games are great for parents,

grandparents and/or unemployed people and not everyone has time to

devote to a 10-20 hour storyline but would you rather devote

hundreds of hours to play a game that gives you no narrative or