The Secret Menu: Feel Better Rainbow Tea

By Tyler Remmel

The weather has changed and fall is here. That means that green will be turning to orange and red, the sound of lawn mowers will be replaced by the sound of leaf blowers.

Oh, and your summer health will be replaced by a fall cold —sorry, I hate to be a debbie downer. But mine was.

Waking up with that signature sore throat is always the worst, especially since getting out of bed is about the last thing that you want to do at that point.

Tea is my go-to sickness pick-me-up. With honey. Lots of honey.

So that’s what I made for this week’s Secret Menu, because I really just wanted to feel better. Please don’t judge me for essentially violating the cardinal rule of Secret Menu: that is, challenging my stomach’s tolerance by pushing it and my tastebuds to the limit.

Call it a week of recovery. My stomach didn’t mind at all.

My thinking behind this Secret Menu is that, if one packet of tea is good, shouldn’t 11 be theoretically better?

With that in mind, the ingredients in this week’s Secret Menu were: two packets of Lipton black tea, two packets of Earl Grey, two packets of Orange & Spice tea, two packets of Green Tea, two packets of Sweet Dreams and one packet of Cozy Chamomile.

Oh, and a heaping helping of honey. At least one-quarter cup of honey.

After warming the water and putting it in a 20-ounce styrofoam cup, I drizzled the honey into the water, then opened up all the teabags and let them steep for about 10 minutes.

I had no idea what to expect before trying this one. With six drastically different flavors of tea, ranging all the way from sweet to bitter and strong to subtle, this could have been a very, very bad idea.

The taste was just like a strong cup of black tea (with a strong overtone of sugar and honey; I used a lot of honey). Instead of the flavors mixing, apparently the black tea just overpowered everything else.

I expected that the Orange & Spice would be present, but even the smell only hinted of clove.

Even the color was pretty standard. It just looked like a dark tea.

There’s really no reason for me to discourage you from trying this rainbow tea, except for the idea that it’s fairly wasteful.

But, then again, maybe that’s one Secret Menu principle that I kept intact.