Hopping from side to side, side to side, in a carefree motion, 4-year-old Cynthia Karamol is in her own little world.

 

All while the VCR is going crazy. Every fourth hop, she bounces into the air.

 

“Mom! Mom! She’s doing it again!” her sister, Alex Karamol, groans.

 

While hopping from side to side, she holds the remote. With the remote in hand, Cynthia holds the power. The power to control; the power to make time slow or speed up; the power to relive a cherished moment over and over again with a simple click of a button.

 

Everything is moving backwards almost in a blur. Disney’s 1992 classic, Aladdin, plays on screen. Images of people dressed in scraps and billowy pants look like they are about to run into each other, while shopping for loaves of bread at the market or hanging their washed laundry.

 

Getting frustrated as she witnesses this VCR mishap one too many times, Alex gives up, annoyed, rolls her eyes and runs back upstairs.  

 

By the age of four, Cynthia knew she was looked at differently compared to other children her age. She felt a deep longing to be accepted by those around her, and wanted nothing more than to fit in.

 

As she grew older, she decided that she wanted to live to the fullest and would allow nothing to hold her back from doing so- even if it meant being diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at the age of two.

 

“Mom, why don’t kids want to be my friend?” Cynthia would whisper quietly, her lip trembling and her delicate eyes brimming with tears.

 

Her parents discovered the reason behind Cynthia’s behavior when they received the news from the neurologist that she would no longer be able to fully comprehend information and would stop learning completely.

 

Instead of feeling defeated and allowing this information to debilitate her and close her off from the world, Cynthia wanted to prove that she was strong and could accomplish anything she set her mind to.

 

“Once the initial shock [wore off], there was no more sadness,” Cynthia’s mother, Beckey Karamol, said. “There was just determination that she was going to do okay in life.”

 

Now as a 22-year-old, Cynthia is a sophomore at Ashland University, studying to be an early childhood intervention specialist.

 

Cynthia explained the reason why she wanted to become a childhood intervention specialist, and why making a difference is so important to her.  

 

“I have always wanted to be a special-education teacher,” Cynthia said. “With me having [autism], I guess it just makes more sense working with kids who have disabilities as well. I want to make a difference in a child’s life; I want them to know that they are not [alone]. I want them to see that I am different, too.”

 

Born and raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania on Sodbury Dr., Cynthia grew up in a tiny blue two-story house, complete with newly painted baby-blue shutters and a long gravel driveway that made a slight crunching sound every time tire tracks drove up and down the pathway. Filled with tons of sweet, blossoming purple flowers neatly planted in the petite front yard, the air swirled with the scent of lilac.

 

That same household was filled with three other family members, including her mother, Beckey, her father, Jeff, and her sister, Alex. Also very much a part of the family dynamic, included their dog- a small but loyal rat terrier named Buster. With bright white fur, he felt as soft as a wool blanket. With an ashy black and white face, he had two giant white patches above both eyebrows and a distinct thin white stripe looming down his forehead. With a giant wet nose that felt as though he just ran through the sprinkler, his rich chocolate eyes twinkled with playfulness. Dragging little McDonald’s toys or his favorite gray monkey around in his mouth, he loved to rough-house.

 

The house is not just any ordinary house; it is a safe haven. It is a home- filled with lots of love, support, understanding, and positivity. It is a home in which welcomes diversity with open arms; the Karamol family treats every person who walks through their door like dear, old friends they have not seen in ages.

 

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Sheila Beach, a multiple disabilities teacher at Taft Intermediate in Ashland, Ohio, works with students who have autism.

 

“Many people who are labeled ASD are vastly different in appearance, action, and situation,” Beach said.  “Autism includes a broad scope of developmental brain disorders, which are often characterized by difficulties with social interaction, communication- both verbal and non-verbal, and engaging in obsessive or repetitive behaviors.”

 

Beach elaborated on how people with autism are functional human beings, whose capabilities are much higher than one may initially think.  

 

“Individuals with autism are intelligent, capable [beings] with unique learning and living needs just like each person around them,” Beach said. “These individuals are simply learning to live in a culture where their sensory needs, communicative abilities, and interpretation are quite different from what is perceived by those around them.”

 

Megan Thrush, a counselor and outpatient therapist for the Crossroads Counseling Group, in Dublin, Ohio, included a few tips for individuals who suspect their loved ones may have autism.

 

“Watch out for sensory oddities or fascinations; many have angry outbursts,” Thrush said. “With proper care [and] treatment, functioning can improve significantly.”

 

Beckey offered words of wisdom for parents who believe their children may have a disability.

 

“If you think something is not right, get [your children] tested and don’t pretend like it’s not there, because you do them a terrible disservice,” Beckey said.

 

Responding to concerns that may arise instead of ignoring them will help individuals treat their disability more effectively in the long run.

 

Cynthia divulged that she is not scared to voice her opinion; to be an advocate for change on how people with disabilities are viewed.

 

“You are going to have to push people’s buttons and make them open their minds,” Cynthia said. “If you can do it in a tasteful way and not criticize others and not be a bully, you are going to get ahead.”

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Wearing a magenta North Face zip-up hoodieand dark boot-cut blue jeans that hugged her tiny waist, accompanied by brown box-shaped glasses that reflected underneath the  dim light, the atmosphere gave off a casual vibe. Her baby-blue eyes were so deep, one would feel as though they were in a forest; aimlessly searching for a way out, but getting even more lost in the process. Her chestnut wavy hair fell loosely around her face in carefree tendrils. With a tall, slender figure that resembled that of a five-foot-ten supermodel and a glowing complexion, she wore neutral makeup consisting of bronzed foundation and black mascara. Looking at her, she eagerly jumped onto her bed, and said, “let’s do this!” Her pearly white teeth were so straight, they would make every orthodontist in America jealous. She smiled wide and radiated confidence.

 

In a two-hour candid interview in her dorm room located in Kilhefner hall, the room displayed off-white cement walls that were cold to the touch, and looked similar to a prison cell. In the area, a twin-sized mattress with an oak headboard was lined up against the right side of the room. With light gray and white zigzag printed sheets and matching pillowcase covers, two memory foam pillows lie side-by-side at the foot of the bed. A variety of sorority event pictures with a poster of the 1985 movie The Breakfast Club castare hung around the room. A collage of friend and family photos can be seen in a hot pink frame placed on the highest shelf in the room, beside a motivational quote poster to keep her going.

 

Cynthia embraces her disorder whole-heartedly; as it is a part of her, and something that she never was taught to be ashamed of. She grew up with the mentality that uniqueness should be celebrated, not criticized, and that life is too short not to relish every moment- even the bad one’s.

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Growing up from adolescence into adulthood was a gradual transition for Cynthia. Being diagnosed with autism was also a delicate process, which took time, resources, and multiple tests conducted by professionals in order to uncover the truth.

 

Jerry Strausbaugh, the executive director of Appleseed Community Mental Health Center in Ashland, Ohio, acknowledged that the ACMHC does offer a vast selection of services for both young people and adults including counseling, interventions, psychiatric support, and more.

 

Additionally, the center caters to those with autism. Strausbaugh elaborated on how those with autism are able to live as proactive members of society.

 

“Autism is a broad spectrum of  disorders,” Strausbaugh said. “It is treatable. People with autistic spectrum disorder can and do work and live very productive lives.”

 

Testing for Cynthia’s autism began when she was 8-years-old. While she has no memory of taking her first test, these tests evaluated her behavior, and also examined whether or not she would fit certain attributes for the disorder. Every three years since then, she would get tested in order to see if she remained eligible for an “individualized education plan,” which focuses on a child’s needs within the classroom.

 

Additionally starting at the age of eight, she was prescribed various medications ranging from Adderall, Risperdal, Strattera, and Trazodone.

 

These medications made her feel a wave of emotions, everything from a sense of calm, to sadness, to anger.

 

“I hated medications; I took it for so many years, I had to,” Cynthia said.

 

While some medications balanced out her mood, others like Trazodone worked as a sleep aid.

 

“I was a zombie; I wouldn’t sleep as a kid,” Cynthia said. “I would go three days without sleeping.”

 

Stopping medication completely at the age of 20 and then resuming months later, she expressed that people at home were really beginning to notice the change in her personality- and it wasn’t for the better. Talking a hundred miles an hour, and acting extremely hyper, her brain was essentially working overtime and could not keep up with what she was attempting to say.

 

“I think when people started to bug me about taking it, is when I stopped,” Cynthia said. “People in my hometown know how I am when I am on medicine. They would say, “You are not your normal self. Your thoughts are scattered, they are not making sense to me. They aren’t even making sense to you, I don’t think.”

 

Now, she regularly visits with a psychologist and a psychiatrist every three months to get her medication.

 

When she was younger, Cynthia would attend speech therapy with a woman named “Ms. Lynn” for an hour, three times a week.

 

“I couldn’t talk until I was four,” Cynthia said.

 

Beckey elaborated on how Cindy had trouble communicating as a young child.

 

“She did not hit milestones, where Alex was passing up all the milestones- she hit them before she was supposed to,” Beckey said. “Cindy did everything very slowly; it was very hard to get words out of her.”

 

Additionally, in her youth, a social worker, named “Ms. Cathy,” regularly visited the Karamol household. She would help Cynthia with the fundamentals of basic living, because at the time, she did not know how to perform these tasks that were simple for others, such as tying her shoes or getting dressed in the morning.

 

To help keep Cynthia organized and on top of her hectic schedule, Ms. Cathy incorporated planners into Cynthia’s daily routine, as her ultimate go-to. Typically, the planners were used to help map out when schoolwork was due and on what day.

 

Also as a resourceful tool, Beckey wanted to do everything in her power to help accommodate her daughter in every way possible.

 

“I went to town and I got every educational toy and program that I could,” Beckey said. “She and I counted a lot of beans and put pennies into jars.”

As a child, Cynthia had a variety of other “helpers” such as occupational therapists, psychiatrists, and psychologists, all of which gave her the freedom to discuss her feelings in an open and inviting environment, on a wooden chair or on a leather couch. The rooms would be well-lit and include children’s books, toys, board games, and puppets.

 

Cynthia’s main psychiatrist knew that Cynthia received decent grades in school and had trouble socializing with other kids her own age. So, as Cynthia got older, she was told that her disorder had not affected her in the same way as it did in her youth.  

 

For Cynthia, having autism has not affected her intellectually, but rather, socially. She was placed on the “higher” end of the autism spectrum.

 

“When I was a kid, I related more to grown-ups than I did [peers] my own age,” Cynthia said. “I didn’t know how to talk to them; I thought they were immature.”

 

Cynthia reflects back on the day she was officially diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. The world was spinning; feeling dehydrated and sporting flushed cheeks, she had what felt like knots in her stomach.

 

“I was mad; I was a student in high school with all of these friends, and I was like, “this does not match me. But oh my god, it did when I was a kid,” she said. “I felt that bitterness because kids are mean; now, we are teaching them to be more accepting, but it wasn’t always that way.”

 

Ultimately, Cynthia divulged that deep down, she knew she was different from an early age.

 

“My parents never sat me down, but I always knew,” Cynthia said. Kids with [autism], we realize it more than most our friends.”

 

Suffering from a significant amount of bleeding while pregnant, Beckey divulged that the doctors told her that due to the abnormal amount of bleeding, there was a possibility that she could lose Cindy.

 

“Alex was about two-and-a-half and we would sit and say the rosary every day,” Beckey said. “I always tell Cindy that she is the first miracle I have ever known. She should not be alive, but she is.”

 

Cynthia noted that it was initially the hardest for Alex to accept that her beloved sister had autism. Alex would sometimes get frustrated with Cynthia and roll her eyes, or yell out in annoyance when Cynthia would do something to would irritate her.

 

“It’s harder on my sister than anyone, I think,” Cynthia said. “She doesn’t understand it; she’ll say, “Mom, Cindy is a normal kid. She can function.”

 

While living with autism was something that Cynthia dealt with to the best of her ability, deciding whether or not to confide in her instructors about her disability was a little nerve-racking, she explained. Although she noted that not all of her professors know about her disability; simply because she chose not to say anything.

 

“It is annoying because it is hard having a disability and have a high IQ, because it makes it come off like you are dumb,” Cynthia said. “You are on a spectrum with an IEP, so the teacher may think, “Oh, she’s stupid then.”

 

While a majority of her teachers treat her no differently inside or outside of the classroom, Cynthia expressed that a few instructors that have taught her previously have openly discussed her disability with other students. While this information is supposed to be kept confidential, the instructor would mainly bring it up when the class had a test to take. She acknowledged how these instructors exploiting her personal business made her feel.

 

“You do not need to say that; it is not your business and it is private,” Cynthia said. “I know kids don’t really care, but I felt as though I got looked at differently. I don’t want to be called out for it.”

 

Maggie Pickens, a fifth-grade intervention specialist at Taft Intermediate in Ashland, Ohio, currently does not work with any students who have autism, although she has worked with individuals ranging from pre-kindergarten to third grade in the past.

 

“As an educator, it is my job to teach these students to be successful members of their communities in the best way that they can,” Pickens said. “If [by] modifying work, teaching lessons in a different way, working individually, and slowing down the speed of instruction is what it takes, then it is my privilege to help them learn.”

 

She has devoted her career to helping students learn, and really has enjoyed getting the opportunity to understand her classroom on a deeper level.

 

“Working with students on the spectrum is an extremely rewarding experience,” Pickens said. “It is all about getting to know each individual student on their level and finding the things that help make their learning experience rewarding and meaningful.”

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As a transfer from Vincennes University, based in Vincennes, Indiana, Cynthia described living there as a “culture shock” and how at the time, she was bullied for having autism. Her former roommate at Vincennes, Danielle, donned long red-orange hair and very expensive apparel. As a fashion major, looks were very important to her, and she always had a face of perfectly-contoured makeup applied no matter what. Danielle had a habit of constantly muttering hurtful comments about Cynthia’s weight, calling her “fat” and saying “no boys would ever like her.” Cynthia was very distraught by her roommate’s criticism, so she refused to eat in front of her. By the end of her freshman year, she lost a total of 30 pounds.

 

“I was so depressed that I couldn’t deal with my own emotions,” Cynthia said.
“I was at that point where if something did happen to me, I wouldn’t have cared. It was the lowest point of my life. But my motto is, it is always going to get better. I truly believe that.”

 

Not only in her college career, but also in her work life, Cynthia has experienced bullying due to her having autism. Working as a customer service associate at Walgreens, she recalled a specific instance that she still remembers to this day- when she was imitated for “rocking” back and forth. The mother was a middle-aged pudgy woman wearing business attire, who was accompanied by her 18-year-old son wearing sweatpants and a casual shirt.

 

“This mother was jumping up and down with her high school kid, basically showing them that it was okay to make fun of someone,” Cynthia said. “With the rocking, it is more of a comfort. It is a habit, as if someone twirled their hair, smoked, or something like that.”

 

She even had a customer call her out on it, asking her if she ever stopped, or if she “had to use the bathroom.”

 

With a smile on her face and her best foot forward,  Cynthia attempts to find the humor in every situation, no matter how uncomfortable or inappropriate the questions may seem.

 

Having been bullied throughout her youth and even feigning ill so that she would not have to go to school, Cynthia would often curl up on the couch, and hold her “aching” stomach, doing her best to look as pale as possible. Her parents, concerned, would attempt to press their hands against her forehead to see if she had a temperature, although she typically would get out of going to school anyway.

 

“I wish people would realize that bullying does affect people; it hurts,” Cynthia said. “Not everyone with autism is the same. We have emotions too, and we do care what people think, even though sometimes we may not admit that to everyone. We want to be as equally accepted for who we are.”

 

Through these tough experiences, Cynthia has had some major life revelations. One of her favorite locations to visit to gain clarity is her dorm room.  

 

“I used to be a huge optimist; during college, I became a realist,” Cynthia said. “College changes you; it makes you realize that not everyone is a nice person, and not everyone will treat you right. I know the real world.”

 

Cynthia proposed some advice to her younger self.

 

“Everything that happens, happens for a reason,” Cynthia said. “I would tell myself not to worry and that everything will fall into place. Stop worrying and stop over-thinking; it will get better.”

Now, Cynthia does her best to not let the negative comments affect her; as she has loving friends and family who appreciate her for her goofy manner, kind spirit, and her devoted passion for making the world a better place.

 

“Everyone is like, “Cindy you’re very genuine, very authentic, and you don’t even see it,” Cynthia said. “You are well-liked by people, because you aren’t a jerk. You are relatable.”

 

Growing up with autism, Cynthia refuses to let her disability define her.

 

“I really do believe [autism] made me who I am,” Cynthia said. “I am very determined and I won’t give up on anything; I will do it until I get that certain [task] done. I am persistent, understanding, sarcastic, friendly, and patient. I am also very loving; I do not care to judge others. I’m a minority, too, and I believe everyone matters.”

 

Currently, Cynthia is content and has come a long way since battling with her confidence and self-esteem issues for a majority of her life. Now, she is secure in not only herself, but also her abilities. Instead of looking down, Cynthia smiles and waves at those passing by. She often gives compliments and will approach strangers and introduce herself with ease. More importantly, she is genuinely happy with the person staring back at her in the mirror.

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After college, Cynthia sees herself settling down and essentially living in the outskirts of her hometown of Dublin. Although she does not have an ideal “dream house” selected, she desires something practical. She hopes to work as a preschool teacher and write a chapter book. She wants to get married and eventually have four children.

 

“I feel like I am coming into myself more; I know who I am and I know what I want,” Cynthia said. “I am happy and I love my life now.”