Am I the only person who is upset that all of these little child “stars” are bigger than Troy Polamalu’s hair?

1) Miley Cyrus – The day that it was announced that Cyrus would be playing in “The Last Song,” Nicholas Sparks’ book sales went down the toilet. Her smokers voice wards off any type of delight or love you could feel for an inspirational movie about love and finding yourself. Which, by the way, is what all Nicholas Sparks’ books and movies are about. But back to Miley. Her name rhymes with smiley. The. End.

2) Justin Bieber – The kid drummed on a chair when he was three and loves his mom. How can the American population not love him? With a voice that sounds like Nicki Minaj and his lesbian hair cut, Bieber fever is the new H1N1. Everyone is nauseous and praying they don’t catch it. Unlike Miley, Bieber doesn’t sound like he has ever smoked a cigarette in his life. Eight-year-olds do not smoke. I do feel bad for him though. P Diddy gave him his old Lamborghini when he turned 16. What a greedy tool – obviously, a kid that can command the attention of 14-year-olds deserves a brand new car. That’s why teachers never get new cars.

3) Selena Gomez – She is dating Justin Bieber. I think that this should really be enough of an explanation, but I’ll give you another one. She is gorgeous and younger than me. Yeah, that really makes me mad. If I’m not famous yet, a 19-year-old shouldn’t be.

Isn’t that why we all hate child stars? Secretly? Sure, most of them really aren’t that talented, but in the end, I’ll admit it’s really just the insanity that someone so little gets to do this crazy stuff that drives me over the edge.

My hatred for them can only be justified 50 percent of the time. The rest of the time they are just little, loud and a bright star that will fall harder than Beyoncé at the Orlando concert.

But hey, they get to be in the company of famous people such as Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Adam Brody, Ashley Tisdale, Sean Kingston, Kanye West, Chris Brown, Mel Gibson, Tom Cruise, and Mel Gibson + Tom Cruise, which = Charlie Sheen.

On second thought, I’m not jealous of these kids at all.