They say there are three things you should carefully sidestep like you would with a dog dropping along the sidewalk in a conversation: politics, religion and sex. I’m going to be outrageous by adding another one to the list-relationship status of a single person.

Before I justify this statement, I will outright admit that yes, I am talking about myself. But hopefully this applies to other people as well, because I’d like to think that I’m not alone in this awkward tango of one.

Throughout my life, I was told that I do not need a man to live my life. Likewise, I do not need a man to support myself, feel special or find the all-encompassing Meaning of Life. I’ve grown up believing this and as always, I will continue believing this.

But then a contradiction will begin to settle in as the years go on. What used to be a casually-posed question will turn into an interrogation the moment I see a relative at an obligatory family gathering during a holiday. For example:

Anonymous relative five years ago: Hey Amanda, how’s school going? See any cute boys?

Anonymous relative today: Find anyone yet?

Now I’ve got a question in return. Why? Why is this the first thing that blurts out of someone’s mouth when they see me after so many months? Why is the importance of my academic success transcended by snagging a boyfriend?

Of course, I believe we all have those nosy relatives who remind you why your life is not as great as you once thought. In time, you learn to crank up the notch on your Deaf-o-Meter (we all acquire one starting in early adolescence) and let your mind wander to other things, like what you’re having for dinner.

Perhaps the real offense is when a friend or even a casual acquaintance starts asking The Question: do you have a boyfriend?

Should the answer be no, which in my case it always is, what immediately follows is The Look. You know what I’m talking about-that flash of condescension that tears through your soul, consuming you in a tidal wave of inadequacy until the sensation ebbs away before it fully registers.

The person shooting such a loaded question at you will then mutter an “oh,” before moving on to something obviously less important.

I guess I’m wondering why my relationship status is such a crucial determining factor of my value as an individual. I honestly believe, at least on a subconscious level, if someone is in a relationship, more respect goes out to that person by default-look, there’s Brittany making out with her boyfriend in the middle of the road! She knows what she wants in life! Good for her!

Years of being smacked in the face with The Question have clearly led to built-up frustrations, but this is not just about me. This is about acknowledging the things that we, as Americans, christen as key benchmarks in assessing whether or not someone is a fully-functioning member of society.

So I challenge you, the next time you feel the urge to demand to know someone’s relationship status, ask yourself this: is it really that important?

Or, at the very least, consider that the lucky person you ask The Question to might snap and give you the same lecture I did.