I used to like trees. I really did. They’re pretty. Nice and green, all different shades. In the fall, they even turn beautiful colors and give everyone something to be a little happier about before the freezing death of an Ohio winter inevitably hits. Trees and I used to be tight. Then they just decided to get in the way.

Not cool trees. Not cool.

I never realized how many trees are at Ashland University until I went on a mission to take a picture of every single building on campus. Simple task, right?

Wrong.

Trees just shot-blocked me the entire time. Every building on campus has a layer of trees sur- rounding it, from every angle. It’s like they’re trying to make a jail cell of every room, in every build-

ing, via tree branches. Sure, trees give us oxygen and they’re good for the environment, but they are NOT good for pictures.

It’s not like you can move them easily either. All they do is stand there, in the same spot, mocking you about how they’re blocking your view. And, just when you think that they can’t get any ruder, the trees decide that they’re go- ing to move their millions of little arms around.

Sure! Those can move! It’s not enough to do anything though. The trees just sit there, laughing at me. And, not only do the trees mock me constantly by ruining every picture I try to take, but I can’t climb them either!

There really is no need for this many trees on our campus, especially if all of the trees are beckoning to you, screaming that they want someone to climb into their tangled arms, possibly get scared and never be able to come down. Climb a tree on this campus though, and you WILL get fined.

Big time! Even better than being fined

for climbing trees…pick a flower and pay around seventy dollars for it. Best damn flower I ever bought!

“Here Mom, I bought this just for you! Can I borrow seventy dol- lars to pay for it?”

Why should Ashland be al- lowed to fine us for picking flow- ers? It’s rumored that AU doesn’t even pay for flowers, they are donated. Read the signs. They say so.

“Bench, donated by (random AU alumni).”

“Clock, donated by (random AU alumni).”

“TREE, donated by (random AU alumni).”

If I want to pick a pretty flower for my professor right before a big test, then I think I should be able to do so! It just compliments the university on their lovely choice of décor. Ashland is just continuously taunting me with its stunning landscaping.

Not cool Ashland. Not cool.