Gather ‘round kiddies and let Grandma Amanda give you some elderly advice (I am a senior at AU, after all, so I’m allowed to say these things…oh wait, I guess that still just makes me 21): if in the event that someone declares something you suspect could cause a heated argument, take the easy route and simply agree.

There are those who feel so strongly about a particular subject, it would be foolish to raise any objections. At least if you would like to keep all limbs intact.

Therefore, in crucial moments prior to when someone is about to embark on the rant express, just nod your head limply and agree.

I’ll use myself as an example: while going on my daily Amazon search, I was glancing through the recommended reading section, only to stumble across a book literally entitled, “How to Get Almost Instant Obedience From Your Woman.”

I was completely blown away. How could Amazon be so appallingly off with its suggestions? Somehow it figured my search for a pro-feminist book translated into a book about male elitism and sexism to the highest blood-curdling degree.

On the cover was a picture of two actual people, with the woman’s arms draped over the man’s shoulders; the man smiling smugly at the camera. The woman’s smile, on the other hand, was watery and unconvincing, as all Hallmark actors tend to look, as if to say, “I really only did this because my mortgage payment is coming up.”

I could already feel my eye twitching.

After unleashing a torrent of unmentionable words at Amazon for its sorely misguided recommendation, I felt the rage bug continue to pump heavily through my veins as I demanded to my friend how such trash could worm its way into print.

“I take back what I said about censorship being wrong, this book should be burned!” I snarled.

And my friend, despite being an anti-censorship advocate and could quite easily bring up a point worth arguing over (like, I dunno, the First Amendment), just nodded her head. “Yup.”

“This is total crap!”

“I know.”

“How dare Amazon sell this shameful endorsement of female slavery on its website! Ridiculous!”

“Mmm hmm.”

With nothing left to dig my teeth into like a rabid dog, I felt my anger fizzle out. She wasn’t bringing up any points to refute, no ammunition to fuel my rant. So in a short matter of time, the storm cloud of negativity passed and we moved onto something else.

I highlight myself as an example of this technique because I’m fully aware I can hop on my soapbox and fume about sexism for hours. Only through someone’s passive agreement could I lose my steam and realize I’m getting too worked up. Logically speaking, after all, the law of supply and demand would suggest that the woman-hater “book” (if I can even call it that) will have a short life. Justice is served.

I suggest taking advantage of this technique for other moments where someone could go off on an endless monologue, such as sports talk.

If some senseless Browns’ fan (I say senseless because it seems to me they don’t have a record worth getting excited about) starts to rant about the possibility of Colt McCoy being let go, just nod your head and say in the most passive way you can muster, “You’re right.” It’ll only be a matter of a couple head nods until the conversation trap will soon pass.

You will have saved yourself precious time from being condemned to listen to someone’s overzealous opinion on something you don’t care much about while simultaneously cutting the (figurative) red wire.