We’ve all been there: sitting at the dinner table cringing while your mother and grandma argue over whether the president is doing his job or not. Then your dad rolls his eyes and pretty soon the whole family has joined in this never-ending spiral down the road to family destruction. 

Thanks Obama. 

But alas; there’s no need to fret. Instead of sneaking a few more shots of brandy into your eggnog, you need to take control. Don’t let Thanksgiving end in disaster because that would make Christmas really awkward. After all, Santa is ALWAYS WATCHING… So raise your peppermint hot cocoa to a solution; here is how to change the subject at family dinner.

First things first, make sure the subject you are switching to is interesting, because you can’t expect your grandma to stop talking over everyone until she’s made her point… UNLESS- your conversation starter is a banger. Read up on some current events that are conversation friendly, which means politics, religion and other controversial topics are off limits.

Second, ask lots of questions. People like to believe you are interested in them. So asking questions can encourage pleasant conversation and you might even find out something fascinating about your Aunt Mildred.

However, this tactic doesn’t always work out. Some of the more determined family members might not give up so easily, which brings us to the back up plan. Author of “5 Ways to Subtly Change the Topic of Conversation,” Michelle Crouch, describes the proper etiquette for getting out of sticky situations at dinner. 

One of those ways is through compliments. Mentioning how lovely the corn soufflé is will be too obvious. However, when you remark on a happy memory or tradition introduced by your grandma, bam, instant flattery.  

“It helps them forget the issue that had them up in arms just minutes ago,” Crouch said, “Plus, people tend to listen more closely to words of praise, which can put them in a different frame of mind.”

If the time your grandma let everyone take her picture while holding a rifle and a handle of whisky with a Santa hat on doesn’t spark everyone’s holiday spirit do not panic; there are more potentials. 

Now you would have to be pretty desperate for this one but it is almost foolproof. Get up and leave the table, excuse yourself to go to the restroom or to get seconds. Then when you come back to the table pretend on your expedition to the restroom you found out something miraculous that you just have to share with the whole table. 

Maybe your friend texted you to say an unimportant celebrity like Roseanne has been shot. It doesn’t matter if it’s true because you can say “No not really but wouldn’t that be crazy?” That way at least the conversation is off of gun rights. Now you probably shouldn’t go as far as saying the family dog died, but you’re going to have to draw that line for yourself.

Crouch suggests this method. 

“It’s much easier and less awkward to change the subject after you’ve taken a short break than to stop a conversation midstream,” she said. 

Now if you are the subject that you don’t want to talk about, for example, “So are you still failing biology?” you may need to execute the “help me” plan. Jump into a funny story related to the subject, like the time your friend fainted while dissecting a frog. 

Crouch has been in a similar situation. 

“I raised my voice and started to make eye contact with others around me. Soon they were all listening and jumping in with their own similar stories,” she said, “and I was off the hook.”

So remember, next time your family gets into it at dinner, instead of losing control and your inheritance just use some of these simple tips so dinner goes down as smoothly as the extra bourbon you won’t need for your eggnog. Don’t resort to pulling the “What’s important is that we’re all here together” move. 

Change the subject with your newly acquired skill and subtlety, or with shock and excitement, it’s up to you really. Either way Santa will be pleased with your extensive knowledge on etiquette and give you extra presents this year for keeping the peace.