With tonight’s game against Lake Erie being Senior Night and March right around the corner, I thought it was the perfect time to test the rusty old Chris Bils jump shot against some of AU’s finest. Of course, I wasn’t going to step right into the ring and take these guys and gals on in one-on-one. No, that would be a terrible decision.

Instead, I settled on the American classic of H-O-R-S-E. If you recall, the last time I took my H-O-R-S-E game to the Collegian, I absolutely destroyed the competition. Never mind that my competition – former managing editor Glenn Battishill – didn’t know a jump shot from a hook shot.

This time, I had my work cut out for me. The challengers were basketball seniors Alyssa Miller and Will Evans. Both are excellent shooters. Miller shoots nearly 39 percent from behind the arc and Evans leads his team at 45.8 percent.

I was not a bad shooter in high school. I played up until my junior year, mostly on the junior varsity squad. Most of the shots I took were 3-pointers, and I once made six in a game during my sophomore year. 

I went into this week’s challenge with every intention of winning. I figured if I got hot I could hang with Will and Alyssa. I made two crucial mistakes. First, I insisted we play in Kates Gymnasium – which they basically call home this time of year – instead of the Rec, where I hone my jump shot and come up with crazy shots mostly from spots behind the basket. Second, I sucked.

Alyssa went first and I followed. Big mistake. Her midrange game ate me alive. I did give Will an early “H” when I drained a shot a few steps back from the 3-point line on the right wing, but other than that I was not making much of anything. Neither was Will, but he picked things up as soon as Alyssa knocked me out on a 15-footer from the left side.

Will took things behind the 3-point line and beyond the boundaries of the court, adding up letters and finally finishing the game off with a shot between the two national championship logos where AU’s bench is. Except, how can you really rub in a game of H-O-R-S-E too bad with the winningest basketball player in AU’s history (sorry Will)?

Final score: Will, H; Alyssa and I, H-O-R-S-E.

We played a second game of P-i-G in which I fared a little better, knocking out Alyssa before Will finished me off, but that was just a consolation. I’m starting to learn that I should stick to covering sports and stop trying to play them.