I recently finished the Busy Student Retreat, one of the better programs from Newman Catholic Campus Ministry. I could talk about why it’s a great thing to do, or the things I’ve picked up from the week, but there is one thing in particular I will carry with me for a while; a short prayer I received Tuesday evening. 

“Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything.”

This prayer, credited to Father Pedro Arrupe, SJ, hit home in a very significant way for me. While I was on this retreat, I was applying for internships. I applied to news outlets across the country, sending copy after copy of my resume, writing and rewriting versions of my cover letter and compiling collections of my work to send off to these newspapers. The repetition was maddening. I struggle with mindless work, I struggle with repetitive work, and this was both. I had to constantly remind myself why I was doing this. 

Except, why was I doing this?

It isn’t a complex question. It is a simple, logical, fair question I would ask anyone I interviewed about any action. I brush my teeth in the morning because my mouth feels gross if I don’t. I go to class because I want to learn and I pay a lot to take the class. I applied for internships because I need one to graduate with a degree in journalism. 

Why do I want to graduate with a journalism degree, though? 

I love it, perhaps. It is great work; I interact with the most interesting people in my area. I tell their stories, empathize with them, and uncover truths that benefit the public. 

Tuesday night, I attended the Fellowship of Christian Athletes for the first time to report on another story. Joe Maggelet was leading the night, and spoke of identity. He said America has an issue with confused identity, where we tend to equate our work with our self-worth, our whole self. Just think to how common it is to ask strangers what it is they do. This was the same sentiment echoed in my time at Busy Student, and I can’t help but agree. Do I define myself as a man, as a son of God, as a human being? Or do I define myself as a journalist, a political science major, or an Ashbrook scholar? 

Hearing the same idea expressed in entirely different places always makes me think I ought to be taking careful notice. Do you define yourself by your major, your future career, or by the love you bring into the world and the love you encounter in your life? This is a question I struggle to answer for myself; I am just glad I got to asking it.