I never considered myself a big-city girl until I interned in New York City this summer. 

In fact, my first two short trips to New York scared me so much that I swore I would never move there. I thought it was a final, concrete decision. Now I see it was just a lack of experience. 

I had an inner bias that big cities devour you. My Ukrainian hometown, Kakhovka, is about Ashland’s size. I spent my childhood playing with chickens and eating earthy strawberries straight from the garden. I enjoyed being surrounded by nature. At school, I was a big fish in a small pond. I feared a city would shrink me into no one, even humiliate me. I never imagined I would spend three months living in Manhattan — and rediscover myself. It turns out living in a city is very different from visiting it. 

When I got the internship offer, I knew I had to change my thinking. Many people come to New York because it is their dream. I came for an internship I was thrilled about. I arrived with an open heart and mind, giving these concrete jungles a third chance. And it worked. 

I felt like I belonged. The diversity of things within reach, or just a few subway stops away, is unmatched. Crowds turn into white noise, and sooner or later, you come to enjoy the busyness of it all. Even as a small fish among many, in New York you have the space and resources to grow. The challenge of working on yourself is what I came to appreciate most. 

In the big city, you can express your free will. No one cares how you look, if you have an accent, or what you do. People are too focused on their own lives. 

Now that I have found myself in New York, nothing scares me anymore. More than that, I strive for more. 

You are never going to understand if you like something until you step out of your comfort zone and risk going to places that seem intimidating. 

(I will be forever grateful to the Ashbrook Center for helping me survive New York and to Razom for Ukraine, where I was able to spend my summer supporting my home country full time.)